Author: Shermaine
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When Rest Stops Being About Recovery
I used to think rest was supposed to fix things. That if I paused long enough, intentionally enough, I’d come back clearer. Lighter. More capable. Like rest was a reset button that would return me to a version of myself that could handle everything again. But lately, that hasn’t been my experience. I rest, and…
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Letting Rest Be Unremarkable
I think part of why rest feels so hard is because I keep expecting it to be something. A turning point. A reset. A moment that changes how I feel or think or cope. Something noticeable enough to justify the time I spent not doing anything else. But most of the rest I actually get…
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When You Start Grading Your Rest
I’ve noticed I don’t just rest anymore. I evaluate it. I wake up and immediately take inventory. Did I sleep deeply enough? Long enough? Do I feel better yet? If I’m still tired, I assume I did something wrong. Rest turns into something I can fail. I compare pauses. A nap that felt shallow. A…
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When Rest Starts to Feel Like a Responsibility
Somewhere along the way, rest stopped feeling like relief and started feeling like another obligation. Something I should be doing better. More intentionally. With clearer boundaries and better planning. Something I’m apparently failing at if I still feel tired afterward. I notice it when I finally pause and my first thought isn’t thank God, it’s…
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You’re Allowed to Decide Before You Defend
For a long time, I thought boundaries were about communication. About saying the right thing, in the right tone, with enough context to make them understandable. What I’m realizing now is that most of the work happens much earlier than that. It happens in the moment you first feel the need to say no. Before…
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Letting No Be Quiet
I’m used to making my no loud in other ways. Wrapped in explanations. Softened with apologies. Balanced by reassurance that I still care, that I’m still reliable, that I’m not trying to cause trouble. A quiet no feels unfinished. Like I’ve forgotten to add something important. Some context. Some justification. Some proof that I’m still…
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The Guilt That Comes Before the Boundary
The guilt shows up before I’ve even decided anything. Before I say no. Before I explain. Before I know what I’m actually going to do. It arrives early, like a warning signal, telling me that choosing myself will cost something. I feel it in my body first. A tightness. A heaviness. A sudden urge to…
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Why Your No Feels Unsafe
Saying no rarely feels neutral for me. It feels charged. Like I’m about to disappoint someone, disrupt something, or expose a flaw in myself. Even when I know I don’t have the capacity, my first instinct is to soften it. To explain. To leave the door open just in case. A clean no feels abrupt.…
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Indecision Isn’t Incompetence, It’s Exhaustion
Indecision is often treated like a flaw. Like a lack of confidence. A failure to commit. A sign that something is wrong with you. But lately, I’m questioning that. Because the indecision I see in myself and in others, doesn’t feel careless or lazy. It feels heavy. Slow. Cautious in a way that suggests something…
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Choosing Without Certainty
I keep waiting for certainty before I choose. The feeling of being sure. Confident. Clear. Like once that arrives, the decision will make itself. But lately, that feeling doesn’t show up the way it used to. Or at all. So I wait. I tell myself I’m being responsible. Thoughtful. That it’s better not to rush.…